Should You Aim for an Amicable Divorce?

lawyer mediating divorce

Divorce marks the end of a relationship, so it is understandable why it can bring so many emotions. There may be fear, guilt, sadness, and anxiety, which can sometimes influence your decisions regarding divorce matters. They can cause you to do things you might regret in the future or even make mistakes that can negatively affect your future.

It is normal to feel these emotions, but you also have to take note that they will eventually subside. This is why if you are in the process of going through a divorce, it is best not to beat yourself up. You also need to be kind to yourself to lessen somehow the stress you’re feeling and help you manage challenges that might come up during the process.

Your divorce is not a battle

Some may think of their divorce as a chance to seek revenge or to settle scores. If you feel the same way and treat your divorce as a battle, the process is likely to be costlier and more time-consuming. This is especially true if you devise an elaborate plan to humiliate your spouse and make him/her suffer.

When there is too much hatred between you and your spouse and both of you can’t look past that, your case may have to be settled in through a trial.  The exhausting courtroom proceedings may then add more stress to an already stressful time, and this can increase the risk of hating each other more.

Mediation is worth considering

Communication and cooperation are the keys to making the process less stressful for everyone involved. Mediation is one way to do this, which consists of having a neutral third party (called a mediator) to help couples come up with an agreement. This is the right choice if you and your spouse want to control the outcome of your divorce.

divorce contract being mediated

Colorado divorce mediation experts note that many couples choose this option to save time and trouble of resolving everything in the court.  Mediation is cheaper than a trial, as it helps resolve issues through negotiation and compromises. There is also the benefit of better cooperation in the long-term, as this settlement process allows you and your partner to make decisions through communication.

You and your partner’s term of civility

There are many rewards to choosing divorce mediation instead of settling your case in court. Apart from helping you paying fewer divorce fees, this also saves time by starting the process right away and reaching a resolution within months or less. It also provides more control by allowing both parties to come to an agreement (on their own and with the help of a mediator) at the end.

The benefits of mediation are undeniable but do take note that this can only work if you and your spouse are willing to cooperate and negotiate with each other. If it is the other way around or if the marriage is overpowered with hatred and hostility, it is unlikely for mediation to work. You have to consider your term of civility and assess if both of you can work together.

Divorce can get ugly, but yours don’t have to be. If possible, it is best to aim for an amicable split, as this is usually ideal for your finances, sanity, and everyone involved.