Everybody has goals in life, and they give us a sense of purpose, which is critical in maintaining our self-esteem. From a young age, we’ve been taught to set goals and complete them, usually in exchange for a reward. As a result, we’ve carried this mindset into adulthood that we have to achieve all our goals before experiencing life’s pleasures.
While delayed gratification can be beneficial, it can put immense pressure on us if we practice it unhealthily. Putting pressure on ourselves isn’t the proper way to observe delayed gratification. It should focus on self-control and discipline so that we can achieve our bigger and long-term goals, such as buying a house, starting a company, and more.
That said, let’s discuss the detrimental effects of self-pressure in attaining life goals and how to overcome this habit.
What Creates Pressure
Announcing our goals publicly, something we tend to do on social media every time a new year begins, makes us believe it would motivate us to complete them. Still, it turns out to be the opposite, according to an NYU research. It’s because when we make our goals known, we get a sense of premature completeness or a false feeling of achievement. This leads us to feel less motivated in hitting those goals, as opposed to keeping those objectives to ourselves.
For example, if you announced on Facebook that you’re going to buy a house with your savings before your 30th birthday, you will undoubtedly receive praise, and some might even envy you. But what if your savings aren’t enough to afford a house?
If your 30th birthday comes and you don’t possess a house yet, you will fear your friends’ judgment, because you “let them down” by not completing your goal, whereas if you just kept the target to yourself, you’re not disappointing anyone.
If you’re adamant on achieving that goal, whether you made it public or not, you can buy a house in Salt Lake City or Orem in Utah through an outstanding mortgage brokerage company, instead. There shouldn’t be any shame in owning a mortgaged home. Besides, paying for a home you own is better than paying rent, especially if you’re raising a family.
Another thing that creates pressure is the fear of failure. You’re less likely to achieve your goals because you refuse to accept that mistakes are a normal part of your progress. It may lead to a fear of success, as well, because the pressure you have built on yourself could make you believe that you’re unworthy of success.
How to Eliminate Self-Pressure
It is essential to recognize the difference between achievement and perfectionism. The latter is a form of self-sabotage rather than motivation since you push for perfection rather than doing your best. When you learn how to get past your mistakes and reap lessons from these, you will overcome perfectionism, and thereby, relieve yourself of the pressure.
Assess your personality, as well. If you’re a “Type A” person, you may tend to let your strong work ethic and goals affect your daily life, putting a strain on your mental and physical health, as well as relationships. By recognizing this harmful behavior, you can make some adjustments and relax a little, taking a burden off your shoulders.
At the end of each day, focus on self-care to manage your stress and restore your energy. Allow yourself to enjoy life’s pleasures, such as reading, watching a movie, or hanging out with your friends. Give yourself a break and don’t dwell on your mistakes and weaknesses. Don’t let those pressure you and pull you even further from your goals. It all boils down to self-love. By focusing on the best of yourself, you eliminate perfectionism and pressure and attain motivation.